Lessons I Learned my 39th Year on Earth

Lesson 5:  You can greatly reduce the stress in your life by automatically assuming  everything will be ten times harder than it should be.

      Growing up, I was a big fan of fairytales.  For many years I actually lived my life under the pretense that some Prince would sweep me off my feet and we’d live happily ever after.  At the very least I figured I’d become an independent career women who could keep a dozen balls in the air seamlessly without ever breaking a sweat.  Eventually I discovered… both scenarios are fiction.      

     Unfortunately, life is a series of unexpected twists and turns that even the most methodical type “A” planners on earth could never anticipate.  Instead of a fairytale, I’ve decided life is more like a mechanical bull.  The best you can do is train hard, saddle up, and hold on for dear life.  Even then… there’s a good chance you’re going to end up with your arm in a sling.  I was recently reminded of this fact with something as simple as my phone service going out.

     This should have been a fairly simple problem to solve.  You’re phone’s not working, so you pick up your cell and call the repairman.  Little did I know that something that should have taken an hour, at most, to resolve was going to usurp my energy for the better part of two weeks.

      After discovering my dilemma, I called Comcast which provides my phone, internet and cable service for “convenience”.  This was a little frustrating because it’s only been a month since I spent some quality time with the Comcast repair man over the very same issue.  If you’ve ever had to schedule an appointment like this you probably already know what a mind numbing experience it can be.  I’d rather be gut punched by a mixed martial artist than place one of these calls. 

     First you have to actually get a human being on the other end of the line.  Once you’ve crossed that major hurdle, the person usually proceeds to spend the next half hour having you run all over the house jiggling and unplugging cables and wires before concluding that you need a repair man… which is why you called in the first place. 

     After you’ve finally convinced the unidentified guru that you’re up a creek without a paddle, you then have to find a three-hour “block” of time when it would be “convenient” for the repairman to show up.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a three-hour “block” of time free in September… let alone in one day. 

     Less than two minutes after making the appointment, I got an automated call on my cell phone from Comcast asking me to confirm that I still had a problem.  Really?  Could the passage of 120 seconds have really changed my situation that drastically? 

     The day of the service call, the robot checked back with me again to make SURE my stuff was still broken.  I patiently pressed two, assuring the inanimate object that I was still helplessly without a phone or internet service.  Before leaving for work, I wrote out a list of detailed instructions for my girlfriend who had agreed to be there and work with the cable guy when he showed up.

     Well imagine my surprise when I stepped off of our news set on Tuesday and received a voice mail from the repair man saying he wasn’t showing up because I didn’t answer his call.  Apparently, I’m supposed to keep my ringer on at all times and just put you guys on hold out there in t.v. land whenever  the cable guy calls.  I’m not kidding when I say, this message was the adult equivalent of being told… “there is no Santa Claus”. 

     I frantically dialed the number on my caller ID to beg for mercy.  Of course, instead of reaching him, I was re-routed to the robot and eventually a human being who informed me that if you don’t answer your phone you’re basically dead to them. 

    How can this be?  What if I were a heart surgeon?  Do they expect me to put someone’s transplant on hold to chit-chat with the cable guy?  What about when President Obama’s cable goes out?  Does he say, “Pardon me Mr. Netanyahu… it’s the cable guy.  I absolutely must take this call.”  It’s preposterous!  Have a little faith Comcast.  I’m already begging for help and giving you a three-hour window.  Do you really think I’m going to stand you up? 

     After debating this for several minutes with the nice guy from Comcast, I finally booked another three-hour window of time I don’t have to get it fixed last Friday.  Everything seemed fine.  The phone was working.  My internet was lightning fast.  I actually found the cable guy to be quite endearing. 

     My daughter spent the weekend with her dad, but on Monday she bolted up to her room to watch a little Spongebob.  Imagine my surprise when she said, “Mooooooom… my t.v. isn’t working.”  Anyone know a good mixed martial artist?


3 Responses

  1. If I were an on-air personality and that happened to me, I’d be giving Comcast some free publicity that they wouldn’t like too much, perhaps even a news story detailing their shortcomings at providing repair service.

  2. Very good for reading as long it’s not you Jennifer. Fortunately my wife takes care of that, and she has a way of getting things done, and it seems to be easy. That may be because I’m not envolved. Thank you for shareing you experences with us, Please continue.

  3. Love the blog, you write so well, very entertaining!

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