I’ve been hijacked!

So the funniest thing happened to me at work today.  I’m sitting in my cube eating a fish taco when the phone rings.  On the other end of the line, I’m greeted by a stranger who has called the station to respond to the singles ad I posted over the weekend on www.plentyoffish.com.  Crazy viewer on the other end of the line … SAY WHAT?  I nearly choked on my pico.

I mean, as you well know from reading this blog, I’m used to getting nutty phone calls and e-mails at work.  It comes with the territory.  There’s no use getting upset about it.   That would be like joining the circus and then getting miffed because people are always gawking at you.  What bothered me is that the caller WASN’T crazy!  I went to the Web site and sure enough … there I was (or wasn’t, as the case happens to be).  My big, smiling mug shot was staring back at me from the computer screen right next to the Username: Blonde Angel 54.

First off … I’m not single.  My husband will probably find it less than hilarious when I get home tonight and show him someone’s using my picture to do a little online “fishing.”  Secondly, wouldn’t anyone who watches the news or reads my blog instinctively KNOW I would not go by such a ridiculous “handle” as Blonde Angel 54?

For those of you too young to remember, a “handle” is a nickname people used to give themselves when they communicated with others via a CB radio.  To me, usernames are simply modern-day version of the “handle” and have a propensity to be equally stupid.  Exhibit A: back in the ’70s, my dad gave himself the handle “Cookie Monster” because he liked to get up in the middle of night and eat Oreos.  Wonder how long it took the three of us to come up with that original?  All I know is that those are hours of your life you never get back, so don’t waste them.  How about using … YOUR NAME …  including the middle initial or something.

Of course, I couldn’t resist paying Blonde Angel 54’s page a visit.  It felt errie, like I was breaking into someone else’s house.  It had the same layout as mine, but once I got inside, I discovered that the furniture was all Early American.  For example, in one section she describes her idea of a first date going something like this:

“Let’s try coffee, tea, coke (I’m assuming she means the carbonated drink), and if we really like each other then hey… who knows?  We can give the dance floor a whirl or whatever we mutually agree on.  Remember, no head games…”

Head games?  You mean as in … putting someone else’s picture on the Internet and passing it off as yourself????

Honestly, the fact that I’ve had my identity stolen isn’t even the worst part.  That’s mild compared to the fact that Blonde Angel 54 claims to indeed be … 54.  The hits just keep coming.  Seriously… do I LOOK 54?!  It’s not that there’s anything wrong with being 54.  It’s just that I’m 38, and I’ve been telling people I’m 30 since 2001.  This HD is apparently taking a bigger toll on me than I originally thought.  I’ve already put in a call to see what it’ll cost me to reinstate my youth with a Lifestyle Lift.

The other part of Blonde Angel 54’s profile I found amusing/bizarre was the About Me section where she says … and I quote … “I am looking for a real man who wants a woman that knows what she wants and goes after it.”

Like … other people’s pictures on the Internet?  I mean really … what was she thinking?  There are a lot of HOT people on the Internet.  If you’re going to steal one … go big!  Why me?  Blonde Angel 54 … here’s a dose of tough love someone should have doled out to you years ago: You can do better!  You’re 54 years old!  Stop settling for less than you really ARE!  You’re better than some second-rate news anchor.  Now get out there and steal a picture of Heidi Klum, for goodness sake!


4 Responses

  1. Jennifer, don’t worry. I would not have guessed you to be a day over 30!

  2. Jennifer,

    I am so sorry this happened to you. In no way do you look like you are in your 50’s. I would have guessed late 20’s. I keep seeing the ads that say identity theft doesn’t discriminate with age. I’m 62 and know this could happen to me as well. Hope you get it straightened out very soon!

  3. I’m a retired policeman and now a private investigator. Identity theft, in any form, is a violation of state and federal laws. I deal with it as a PI occasionally. It appears someone is just “messing” with you. It can easily be traced back to an “IP” address. The “Blonde Angel 54” part was meant to push your buttons – calling a young, good looking woman 54 years old. That’s a hanging offense!

  4. Jennifer, I don’t have anything to say about this blog this but….But,, you are looking Hot to a 54 year old woman!!!! Thanks

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