Mommy-cation

     As a parent… have you ever just thought to yourself, “man I could use a break!”  I’m not talking about a date night or a one hour massage or a weekend getaway. To me… those are just teasers.  That’s like having an appetizer only to find out there’s no dinner to follow.  Sometimes I actually want to slap people who suggest these activities as so-called “stress busters”.

     Let’s think about this.  Who’s going to find the babysitter while I go “relax”?  Me.  Who’s going to pay for the sitter? Me.  I don’t know about you, but those two activities alone tend to induce stress, not relieve it.  Clearly, the people coming up with these ideas have no children.  In fact, I seriously question whether they even KNOW anyone with kids.  If so, they’d have to realize how implausible it is to spend $20 on a sitter to get a $60 massage.  I, on the other hand, feel your pain, and I’m about to share a secret that is guaranteed to restore mental and emotional stability in exactly five days! I feel like Tony Robbins!

     Two weekends ago, as a part of our annual quest to make each summer bigger and better than the last, we took our 7 year-old to King’s Island and spent the night at the neighboring Great Wolfe Lodge.  That place is nuts!  They have an entire water park INSIDE!  My husband’s sister and her family drove over and met us for the weekend.  Other than the minor inconvenience of having a tornado touch down next to our hotel (while we were inside the glass encased water park) it was a flawless trip!  Predictably, on Sunday my daughter and her cousin began suffering from separation anxiety.  That’s when the two of them hatched a plan for my daughter to go home to Indianapolis with them for an ENTIRE week.

     Initially my response was, “Absolutely not!”  I don’t even really know why I said that.  I think it’s a reflex.  Any time my daughter blindsides me with that kind of question with other people around, I automatically say no until convinced otherwise.  Call it maternal instinct, but the more we talked about their idea, the better it sounded.  My sister-in-law and her husband were on vacation all week.  They already have two kids.  What’s one more in the mix? (Famous last words) In exchange for their gracious offer, we agreed to take my niece off their hands the following week.

     Though a part of me was ecstatic, I have to admit, I was also a little nervous.  Our daughter’s never spent more than four days away from us, and even then… she was with her grandparents.  I couldn’t help but envision her getting homesick and demanding that we come pick her up at some truck stop between here and Indy at two a.m.  In the end… we decided it was worth the risk.  As we pulled out of the parking lot I had what I would describe as an equal combination of fear and elation.  With each passing mile that fear started to melt away, and it began to dawn on me that… we were free to live like humans again for A WEEK.

     Don’t get me wrong.  There’s nothing in the world more fulfilling than raising my child.  She’s an absolute joy to be around, and I can’t imagine my world without her in it.  That said, I cannot tell you the last time I had an uninterrupted conversation with my husband, or the last time I went to the restroom… alone, or the last time I went to bed because I WANTED to and not because someone was dragging me up the stairs at nine o’clock begging me to lay down for “just one minute”.  Anyone taking sleep aids should just come to our house and lay down in my daughter’s bed for a night.  Narcolepsy is induced almost immediately.

     It’s fair to say that I haven’t come home from work and “kicked back” since 2001.  What can I say?  I’m a mother! This is how we roll.  If there were a hidden camera in our house you’d catch me drinking from a sippy cup more often than not.  I’m proud to say that in our one week off… we partied like Rock Stars!  We stayed up past our bedtime, ate Cheetos for dinner, watched a boatload of mindless reality television, slept in, and even said the word STUPID over and over again without being reprimanded.  Is that living or what?  Even as I read this, it sounds “stupid”.

     That week was good for me for a lot of different reasons.  Obviously it was nice to decompress and regain a little control over my own life, but it also reminded me of how much time I used to waste on activities that meant almost nothing in the big scheme of things.  It was like running in place.  I stayed really busy, but never got anywhere.  For years, my husband and I have jokingly asked each other, “What did we spend our time on before we had kids?”  Now I know… a whole lot of nothing.  

     I can’t tell you how excited I was to see her come home last Friday.  All the things that used to get under my skin were suddenly gone.  It no longer bothers me that she screams “mom” a hundred times a day despite the fact that I’m ten feet away.  I can’t wait to get home at night to find out what she’s gotten into that day.  Call it a light bulb moment if you want, but it finally dawned on me that most of the stress is self inflicted.  I want to do well at work.  I want the house to be spotless.  I want everything in my life to run like a well oiled machine, and it ain’t gonna happen!  I’m going to try to just get over it.

     When it’s all said and done… no one is really going to care that there’s a relentless stain in my hallway that won’t come up.  They won’t care that I didn’t throw dinner parties that would rival Martha Stewart.  It won’t impress them that I won a couple Emmys or that we were number one at 6:30 42 straight weeks.  If my hair is a little frazzled because I couldn’t get to the salon that week, people are probably going to let it slide.  None of that stuff  really matters!

    Let’s face it, the only real legacy most of leave is our children.  What will they become?  How will they treat other people?  What will they do to change the world?  Those are the things that really matter.  If you get a chance to unload your kids on someone for a week this summer, I would highly encourage it.  Send them to a church camp.  It will be good for them, and if you don’t know of one… e-mail me.  I’ll send you all the information.  I promise, you will never see life the same way again.  In fact, if it’s not one of the most enlightening experiences of your life, call me… I’ll babysit your kids while you get a massage. 