Why are people so weird? I mean seriously… for a long time I’ve thought it was me. I’m the weird one, and everyone else is normal. The trouble is… people keep doing things that cause me to question that philosophy. Is it me, or is it them?
For example, I got a call this afternoon from a strange number. My first inclination was to screen the person on the other end, but then I thought… what the heck! I’ll go out on a limb and answer. Maybe it’s someone who legitimately needs me. Much to my surprise, it was the lady at the Estee Lauder counter. How did this person even get my number? Anyway, I figured she was probably calling to tell me about some big sale or gift giveaway, either way… it’s a good thing that I answered, right? Nope! She just wanted to remind me that it had been 2 months since I had bought facial lotion, and she wanted to remind me of that, so I don’t run out.
Let’s think this through. If I were running out of lotion, wouldn’t I be the first to know about it? I don’t wait for the grocery store to call me when I need toilet paper. I’m not sitting there one day, without a single square to spare, thinking… darn, I wish Kroger would have reminded me of this impending disaster. When I start to run out, I make a mental note, and I GO BUY SOME!
To be clear, I’m not picking on the girl at the Estee Lauder counter. I feel sure someone told her to do it, but it still makes no sense whatsoever; and the thing is, this kind of thing happens on a fairly regular basis.
Last week, I spent a half-hour on the phone with an insurance agent who was giving me quotes on everything from my home to a piece of rental property that I own. Right before we hung up, he said, “Can I be honest?” Ummm, yeah! I was kind of under the impression that honesty was implied during a conversation that involves every major asset I own! I didn’t realize honesty was the kind of thing one had to get special permission for.
My daughter and I were at Panera Bread not long ago. (Please know… I LOVE Panera Bread. This is not an assault on Panera Bread or the quality of their employees). Anyway… it’s like we were placing our order in a foreign language. The man on the other end of the speaker could make no rhyme or reason out of what I was trying to order, which was not super complicated. Once we finally managed to overcome the language barrier, things only spiraled further out of control.
I asked for the Big Kids grilled cheese/tomato basil combo. I’ve ordered this no fewer than a hundred times. He delivers, what I consider to be, a crushing blow. Apparently, the Big Kids grilled cheese has been taken off the menu. Sorry. I don’t handle change well. Fortunately, he redeems himself by asking if we want the regular grilled cheese instead. Sure! Why not? How different can they possibly be? He then comes BACK on the intercom to tell us they’re out of white bread. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure what to do with this information, since the last time I checked, bread was mandatory for a grilled cheese sandwich of ANY kind. My silence must have been deafening because about 15 seconds later, he came back to ask if we wanted it on Ciabatta bread. Again… we agreed this was fine. Let’s move on!
THIS is where things ramped up to a whole different stage of weird. He asks me what kind of soup I want. I feel like we’ve already covered this, but whatever, I tell him we STILL want the tomato basil. He says, “We don’t have tomato basil. We have CREAMY tomato basil!” At this point, I’m looking around for Ashton Kutcher. Surely, his show is back in the production stage, and we’re being Punk’d.
I wish I could exclude myself, and say I’m the only “normal” person on the planet, but who am I kidding? We all know that’s a lie! I like to believe this blog is a “safe place” where I can be honest, without having to ask your permission. I’m as crazy as everyone else. My daughter reminds me of this often!
For the love of all that’s good, I put up a 12 inch Christmas tree this year JUST so I could tell people I had my tree up!
Is this normal behavior? I think not!
My point is… we’re all a little weird. That’s what makes life interesting. If it weren’t for these little idiosyncrasies, the world would be a pretty boring, not to mention unamusing, place to live.